100+ Monday Jokes - Good day to start a week

Mondays don’t just start the week—they test your patience, your alarm clock, and the size of your coffee mug. After two days of weekend freedom, it’s no wonder people dread the Monday blues. From groggy commutes to inbox overload, this day has a reputation for being the hardest to survive. But laughter is the best cure, which is why we’ve gathered the funniest Monday jokes to make your morning brighter.

These quick laughs are perfect for sharing with coworkers, texting a friend who hates Mondays, or just reminding yourself that you’re not alone in the struggle. Whether you’re searching for office humor, work jokes, or relatable quotes about Monday mornings, this list has you covered. Because if we can’t skip Monday, we might as well laugh our way through it.

Contents

New and Fresh Monday Jokes

Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Because they make up everything!
What did the coffee say to the sugar on a Monday? You’re sweetening my day!
How does a moon feels about Mondays? Crater than ever!
What do you call a lazy Monday? A snooze-day!
Why did Monday take a nap? It was tired of being the most exhausting day!
What did the clock say to Monday? It’s time for another round!
Why did the calculator break up with Monday? It couldn’t count on it!
What do you call a Monday that wins an award? An “A-Monday”!
How does a computer feel about Mondays? It needs a reboot!
Why don’t eggs like Mondays? They can’t crack the code for a great start!
Why was the Monday book so popular? Because it had an “unparalleled title”!
What did one Monday say to the next? Let’s get this week started!
How do you know Monday is a magician? It makes the weekends disappear!
Why did the chicken cross the road on a Monday? To prove it wasn’t a lazy bird!
Why are Mondays like a math problem? They can be difficult to solve!
What do you call Mondays that never end? A joke saga!
Why did the coffee file a police report on Monday? It got mugged!
Why are Mondays the best for mice? They’re cheese-tastic!
Why did Monday start a band? It wanted to rock the week!
What’s Monday’s favorite game? Hide and seek – but it always finds you!
Why do Mondays never get lost? They always follow the same routine!
What kind of shoes do Mondays wear? Time-shoes!
Why do golf balls hate Mondays? Because they get teed off!
Why is Monday often lonely? Because the weekend is always the life of the party!
How did the lightbulb feel on a Monday? Bright but dimmed by the workweek!
Why did Monday file for divorce? It was tired of being in a wacky relationship with Friday!
What did the dentist say to Monday? Don’t worry, I’ve got fillings!
Why do Mondays love art? Because they love to draw attention!
What did the grape say to Monday? Stop raisin my standards!
Why does Monday always win comedy contests? It knows how to tickle your funny bone!
How does Monday respond to compliments? Aw, shucks!
Why did the computer leave work early on a Monday? It had a hard drive!
Why do Mondays never play hide and seek? Because great jokes are hard to find!
Why do Mondays like tea? It’s steeped in traditions!
What did one Monday say to another? Just morning to you!
How do Mondays prefer their eggs? Over-easy!
Why do Mondays make good friends? They always stick together!
What did the pencil say to Monday? You have a point!
Why was the math book sad on Monday? It had too many problems!
Why do Mondays love elevators? They always help people rise!

Dark Monday Jokes

Why did the skeleton dread Mondays? It didn’t have the guts to start the week!
Why can’t ghosts handle Mondays? They can’t seem to get their lives back together!
Why did the scarecrow quit on Monday? He was outstanding in his field but tired of the same old routine!
Why are Mondays like haunted houses? They’re filled with terrifying tasks!
How does a vampire prepare for Monday? By biting the bullet!
Why did the zombie apply for a wake-up call? To fight off Monday!
What do you call a sad Monday? A funeral for the weekend!
Why do monsters avoid Mondays? They can’t handle the horror!
Why did the witch go to work on a Monday? She cast a spell for motivation!
What did the grave say to Monday? I’m dying over here!
Why was the werewolf upset about Mondays? He just couldn’t howl like the weekend!
Why did the mummy avoid Mondays? Too much wrapping up to do!
How does a ghost start the week? By saying Boo to the Monday blues!
What did the witch say to start her week? Time to brew up some trouble!
Why do cemeteries never run out of people on Mondays? Because they’re too busy resting!
What do you call a sinister Monday? A death wish for the weekend!
Why are Mondays like graveyards? They’re often dead silent!
Why did the vampire hate Mondays? They sucked away all his fun!
Why did the ghost break up with Monday? It was just too draining!
What did one ghost say to another on Monday? Boo-hoo, it’s the start of the week!
Why did the zombie bring a briefcase to work on Monday? He wanted to make some brains!
What did the witch use to fix Monday’s problems? A spell to get through!
Why did the skeleton avoid socializing on a Monday? He felt too bone-tired!
What did the mummy order on a Monday? Wraps and rolls!
Why do ghouls love Mondays? They can’t resist a good scare!
How do vampires like their Mondays? Rare!
What’s a witch’s favorite day? Any day she can spell trouble!
Why was the grave unhappy? Monday was coming, and it didn’t like new arrivals!
What do you call an unpleasant Monday? A spine-chilling scenario!
What did the haunted house complain about? Mondays were too spooky!
Why don’t grave diggers like Mondays? Too much digging up old bones!
What did the ghost say about Monday? I’ll just boo my way through!
Why did the phantom refuse to work on Mondays? It didn’t have the energy to scare anyone!
How do witches communicate on Mondays? Through broom-mail!
Why did the zombie look in the mirror on Monday? To see what it was missing!
Why did the vampire quit his job? Too many late Mondays!
Why was the skeleton hesitant to start the week? He had no backbone!
What did the ghost do for fun on Friday? Released the tension from Monday!
Why are Mondays like haunted objects? They both have a long-lasting effect!

Monday Jokes – Reader Favorite

Why was Monday invited to all the parties? Because it brings everyone together!
How does Monday schedule its meetings? Bright and early!
What did Monday say to tired workers? Let’s rise and shine!
Why do people love Fridays more than Mondays? They can’t handle the hype!
How did Monday respond to criticism? With a dose of humor!
What do you call someone who hates Mondays? A Monday-hater!
Why do people find Monday’s jokes funny? They’ve heard them all week long!
What’s the best way to greet Monday? With a grin!
Why do Monday meetings never run late? Because everyone wants to leave!
Why does Monday like music? It gets everyone toe-tapping!
How does Monday cheer you up? By promising a fun-filled week!
What did the cheerful person say about Mondays? They always bring surprises!
Why do workers love to complain about Mondays? It feels therapeutic!
Why are Monday jokes the best? They kickstart the week’s laughter!
What do you call a lazy Monday? Just another day!
How did Monday motivate everyone? With a burst of caffeine!
What’s the best slogan for Mondays? Let’s do this!
Why does everyone laugh at Monday jokes? They’re pure gold!
What did one office worker say on Monday morning? “At least we have coffee!”
Why do Mondays always come back? Because they know how to make a comeback!
Why is Monday a great day for teamwork? It’s all about collaboration!
What’s the secret to loving Mondays? Starting it with a smile!
How do you know when it’s Monday? When you hear everyone complain!
What did Monday say to the weekend? Get ready for more fun!
How should you prepare for a Monday? With a big dose of humor!
Why do people enjoy Monday jokes? They make the day go faster!
What did the employee write on a Monday? “Let’s do this week together!”
Why don’t people argue on Mondays? They haven’t had their coffee yet!
What’s the first thing to do on Monday? Laugh it off!
What’s Monday’s favorite snack? Anything caffeinated!
How did the person feel after sharing a Monday joke? Uplifted!
Why do comedians love Mondays? They get to tell their best jokes!
What did the manager say at the Monday meeting? “Let’s kick this week into gear!”
How does a fun group start Monday? With laughter!
Why was everyone looking forward to Monday? New opportunities ahead!
What’s Monday’s favorite exercise? Lifting spirits!
What’s the best gift for a Monday? A good laugh!
What do you call a productive Monday? A win!
What did Monday wish for? More smiles!

Fresh Monday Jokes

What did one Monday call another? A sister day!
Why did the weekend take a day off? To remind everyone of the joy of Monday!
Why was Monday always looking forward to Friday? It was a little jealous!
What did the chicken say to its colleagues on Monday? ‘Let’s wing it!’
What’s Monday’s anthem? ‘I will survive!’
How does Monday treat you? Like a warm hug!
Why does Monday always choose flowers? It loves spreading joy!
What do you call a breezy Monday? Chilly-weely!
Why was Monday in a hurry? It wanted to catch the week’s rhythm!
What’s a common joke on Monday? Where are my keys?!
How does Monday show kindness? By helping us rise!
What does a motivational Monday consist of? Dreams and coffee!
What’s the best activity for Monday? Making plans!
How does one survive on Monday? By laughing it out!
What do you get with a productive Monday? More possible solutions!
How do we brighten up Monday? Share good vibes!
What’s a funny secret weapon against Mondays? Humor!
What’s the Monday smile challenge? Smile at five people!
Why do we need Mondays in our lives? They teach resilience!
How do you make Mondays better? Add some jokes!
What’s the most uplifting sound on Monday? Laughter!
How do you know it’s a Monday? The sky’s looking extra blue!
What do you call a resolved Monday? A go-getter!
Why did the coffee bean get a job on Monday? To help others get energized!
What did Monday say to Friday? “You’re my all-time favorite!”
How does Monday celebrate? With warm croissants and great coffee!
What made Monday smile? Getting a compliment!
Why do pancakes love Mondays? They’re always flipping amazing!
What’s the best gift for Monday? A warm cup of humor!
What do you call a day with no troubles? A dream Monday!
What makes Monday bearable? A friendly face!
What did Monday shout out? “Let’s have a fun week ahead!”
How do you turn a Monday into a fun day? By being spontaneous!
What’s the best mantra for Mondays? “Positivity only!”
What’s the sweetest treat for Monday? A slice of laughter!
How does Monday enjoy some downtime? With a warm cup of coffee!
What’s the humorous version of Monday? Funday!
Why do cats love Mondays? They can cat-ch up on sleep!
What did the dog say to the cat on Monday? Let’s paw-sitively start the week!
How did the dog react to Monday? Just wagging its tail!
What’s an owl’s favorite day? Hoots-day, of course!
Why did the rabbit dislike Mondays? Too many hare-raising experiences!
What did the chicken say to its friend on Monday? “Our egg-cellent week awaits!”
What do you get when you cross a dog and Monday? A woof-tastic week!
What did the elephant trumpet on Monday? “Can’t wait to stomp around!”
Why are Mondays great for goldfish? They finally get to swim in circles!
What did the parrot squawk about Mondays? “Polly wants more coffee!”
How do frogs feel about Mondays? Ribbiting with excitement!
Why did the hamster dread Monday? It had to run the wheel all week!
What’s the best part of Monday for dogs? Chasing their tails!
How do cats view Monday? A purr-fect time to nap!
Why do cows believe every Monday is special? Because they get mooo-ti-vated!
What’s a dog’s favorite Monday activity? Fetching coffee beans!
What do you call an excited lion on a Monday? A roaring success!
What did the fish say about Monday? Just keep swimming!
Why do chickens love the breakfast they make on Monday? It’s eggs-traordinary!
How do ducks greet each other on Monday? Quack-tastic!
What do you call a cat who hates Mondays? Feline blue!
What does a mouse say when Monday comes around? “Let’s squeak it up!”
Why was the turkey happy on Monday? It was looking forward to Thanksgiving!
What do you call a lazy sloth on a Monday? Slow Monday!
How does a rabbit prepare for Monday? It hops into action!
Why did the bird refuse to fly on Monday? “Too much avian drama!”
What do you call a fox that loves Mondays? A sly start!
What’s the first thing the horse does on a Monday? Gallops towards good vibes!
Why are squirrels happy to see Monday? It’s nutty time!
What did the beaver say on Monday? “Let’s build a fun week!”
How do turtles tackle Mondays? Slow and steady!
Why do cows look forward to Mondays? Because they love moo-d swings!
What’s a goat’s perspective on Monday? “Ewe know, just another day!”
What makes Monday better for animals? More play dates!
Why do animals look forward to Mondays? They’ve got new adventures!
What’s the best snack for animals on a Monday? Idrinks and critter chips!
Why did the employee bring a ladder to work on Monday? To reach new heights!
What did the boss say to motivate everyone on Monday? “Let’s climb this week!”
Why do workers avoid Mondays? It’s a heavy workload!
What’s a common phrase in every office on Monday? “Let’s hit the ground running!”
Why was the project delayed on Monday? Too many meetings!
What do you call a productive Monday at work? A week starter!
What do employees wish for on a Monday? A three-day weekend!
Why are Mondays the busiest for employees? They’re catching up!
How do you know it’s Monday in the office? The coffee pot is empty!
What’s a common sight in offices on Monday? A stampede to the coffee machine!
What do you call Monday morning meetings? A snooze-fest!
What’s the best phrase you can hear at work on Monday? “Happy Monday!”
Why do office chairs love Mondays? They’re ready for a workweek!
What did the job say about Mondays? “I’m all about deadlines!”
What’s the funniest thing about Monday work? Unwanted coffee breaks!
How do employees feel on Monday morning? Distracted and caffeinated!
What are team meetings like every Monday? A chaotic brainstorm!
Why did the employee bring a fan to work? To chill out on Monday!
What’s the best way to deal with Mondays at work? A good sense of humor!
What did the boss remind the staff on Monday? Teamwork makes the dream work!
How do coworkers start their Monday? By sharing a few laughs!
What’s the worst part of starting work on Monday? Alarm bells!
Why did the employee get a coffee mug that said “Monday” on it? For extra motivation!
What do coworkers love to exchange on Monday? Funny memes!
Why did the office get together on Monday? To celebrate getting through!
What’s the most challenging part of a Monday work day? Getting through the emails!
How do you know it’s Monday at the office? Everyone asks for coffee!
What did the supervisor promise the staff for Monday? A snack break!
Why was the computer excited about Monday? It had a load of data to crunch!
What’s a boss’s favorite Monday quote? “Let’s do this together!”
Why do Mondays inspire teamwork? New projects to tackle!
What do HR managers often say about Mondays? “Let’s follow company culture!”
How did the former employee feel about Monday? Thankful to be retired!
Why do Mondays always have a deadline? Because they want progress!
What’s the mark of a good Monday? Getting everything done!
What do you call deadlines on Mondays? A harsh reality!
How do workers feel after a good Monday? On top of the world!
What do employees wish for every Monday? Long lunch breaks!
What did the coffee say during the Monday morning meeting? “I’m strong to caffeinate you!”
Why did the banana go to work on Monday? To fill its bunch!
What did the ketchup say to the mustard on a Monday? “Let’s ketchup with the workload!”
What did the pencil say about Monday? “I’m just going with the flow!”
Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? It was two-tired!
How does a bee start the week? With honey-good vibes!
What did the tomato say to the other vegetables on a Monday? “Let’s ketchup!”
What do you call a guitar on a Monday? Strum and drang!
Why did the shoe go to work on Monday? It knew it was time to step up!
What did the coffee mug say to the spoon on Monday? “You stir me up!”
How do you wake up on a Monday? Brew yourself awake!
What is a coffee’s favorite musical note? A latte!
Why did math lovers look forward to Mondays? Because they loved solving problems!
What did the bread say to the butter on a Monday? “Spread the love!”
How do you know it’s Monday in a bakery? The dough is still rising!
Why did the scarecrow start a blog on Monday? He wanted to share his tips!
What did one cookie say to the other on a Monday? “You crack me up!”
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay on Mondays? Because then they’d be bagels!
What did the corn say on Monday? “I’m all ears!”
Why did the grape stop in the road? It ran out of juice!
What’s the best way to cheer up your plants on Mondays? Talk to them — they love that!
How do you make Monday smooth? Blend it well!
Why did the blender dread Mondays? Too many mix-ups ahead!
What did the orange laugh about on Monday? Peeling out of conversation!
Why do treasures get excited about Mondays? Because it’s adventure time!
What’s a cat’s least favorite day? A hair-raising Monday!
What’s a sad banana’s reaction on Monday? Peeling behind schedule!
How did the sun make Monday better? It brought warmth!
Why do bakers find Mondays funny? The punchline is always rising!
What did one carrot say to another? “You’re looking a-peeling today!”
What’s the best cure for a corny Monday? A good pun!
Why did the skeleton promote happiness on Monday? It did not have a chance to build connections!
What did the chair say to the desk on a Monday? “Let’s support one another!”
How do flowers celebrate Mondays? They bloom with joy!
Why did the farmer start a joke on Monday? To cultivate laughter!
What did the oven say to the chef on Monday? “Let me heat things up!”
How do you know it’s Monday in a cafeteria? The jokes are all half-baked!
What’s a bear’s favorite snack on Mondays? Anything un-bearably good!
I told my boss I needed a raise; he said, ‘Over my dead body!’
If Monday had a face, I would slap it!
Monday called, it wants to remind you how unproductive you are!
I think Monday has commitment issues because it never stays long!
Monday is proof that bad things come in threes!
They say Monday is a fresh start, but it feels more like déjà vu!
Monday is a reminder that coffee meets chaos!
If I could have dinner with any infamous person, it’d be Monday — I want to know what their problem is!
Thank goodness it’s Monday — said no one ever!
Monday: the day I can’t espresso how I feel!
If Monday were a fruit, it would be a sour lemon!
Why is Monday’s schedule always so jam-packed? Because it can’t spread joy!
Monday — a day you can never look at your clock without being disappointed!
I used to love Mondays until I got a job!
On Mondays, caffeine isn’t just an option; it’s a necessity!
If Monday had a personality, it would be a coffee snob!
Monday is a word — wait, what’s the real meaning? Who cares?
Every Tuesday is an opportunity to reflect on how hard Monday was!
Time flies when you’re not having fun with Monday!
Monday is the day when all your weekend plans come crumbling down!
Monday, you’re on my last nerve, so take a day off!
I asked Monday why it’s always so gloomy — it said it had too much on its plate!
Monday is like a math problem; you know it’s going to be difficult firsthand!
Why are Mondays like volcanoes? They always erupt with stress!
They say laughter is the best medicine — well, I need a full dose on Monday!
On Mondays, I’m like a pizza; I’m half-baked and a little cheesy!
Monday is like a rock concert for adults; lots of noise and no one feels good afterward!
If Monday were a vegetable, it would be a Brussels sprout!
Monday — the only day that feels like a lifetime!
I brought my sleeping mask to work on Monday — I want to snooze through the day!
If I could summarize my Mondays in one word, it’s “meh.”
On Monday mornings, my coffee needs coffee!
Why do we need a holiday from Mondays? Because they’re exhausting!
If my prediction is right for Mondays, they need to be less predictable!
Monday is the only day where I can guarantee stress before breakfast!
If Monday isn’t the worst day, then why do I feel like throwing a fit?!
Monday, you’re not even trying; you’re just plain rude!
On Monday, my brain deserves a vacation!
I’d rather wrestle a crocodile than face a Monday!
I’m in a relationship with Monday; it’s complicated!
I have a steamy affair with coffee to get me through Mondays!
On Mondays, I’m a procrastination expert!
I can’t take Monday seriously; it’s just a weekend collector!
Monday’s attitude? Just taco-ing around!
Monday workouts? I’m running away on this one!
On Mondays, you either gather steam or full steam ahead!
Why did I join a gym on Monday? To tackle my week with strength!
Monday is a bridge that takes us to the weekend — a bit shaky but still standing!
Why do we chase Mondays? They run faster than weekends!
Monday is my caffeine buddy; we bond over complex problems!
I’m thankful for Mondays; they bring back structure!
On Mondays, my plans look like a comedy routine — hilariously unexpected!
Monday morning traffic is improving; it’s still bad, just less erratic!
Don’t panic; Monday’s just testing your patience!
Why do we need Mondays? To remember how great Fridays feel!
Monday clean-up? Not a chance; I’m saving that for a dusty Friday!
Feeling upbeat on Monday is an alien concept; I’m Earth-bound!
Monday should come with a warning label: “Highly caffeinated!”
Why do I feel like I’m in a sitcom every Monday? Because nothing goes as planned!
I don’t mind Mondays; I just prefer them in a different time zone!
Monday meetings are like tea spills; messy but usually fixed!
Why do I consider Mondays a kick? It kicks off a week suited for challenge!
I’m all for the Monday grind as long as there’s coffee involved!
Why do Mondays get bad press? Because they steal weekends!
Why do Mondays need therapy? Too much guilt from causing Friday’s sadness!
I feel like I need a hug from Monday; it’s tough love!
Why do Mondays act out? They are just mistakenly misunderstood!
What’s the deal with Mondays? They always come dressed in delays!
Monday: the day I need to remind myself of the weekend again!
How does one get through a Monday? With a pun-powered smile!
What’s Monday’s favorite joke? Too many to count!
Don’t hold back; share the Monday puns liberally!
Why does Monday need a mic? To drop the best pun!
On Monday, I redefine creativity — coffee and jigsaw brainteasers!