90+ Funny Blood Puns & Jokes One Liner

Some jokes just bleed with humor. Blood puns and jokes are full of life and a little bite too.

They flow fast like a strong heartbeat and bring a mix of spooky and silly fun.

These jokes can make even a vampire crack a smile. Some are dark some are light all are pumped with laughter.

So roll up your sleeve get ready to laugh because these blood jokes are sure to make your mood circulate!

Short One-Liner Blood Puns

1. I’m feeling vein today
2. Blood donors are my type
3. My blood runs on drama
4. Stop being so clot-headed
5. I told a joke but it didn’t coagulate
6. My blood pressure loves chaos
7. Dracula says I’m his favorite snack
8. I’m full of type awesome
9. Vein goals right here
10. I got blood on my shirt again
11. Keep calm and clot on
12. Blood is thicker than homework
13. I’m o-ver it
14. My blood cells need coffee
15. This joke is vein but true
16. Blood test? I studied hard
17. I’m just here for the plasma
18. My blood is 90 percent sarcasm
19. I veinly believe in myself
20. Be positive or be gone

Best Blood Puns

1. My type is mysterious and slightly spooky
2. The doctor said my humor is low in platelets
3. I donate jokes as well as blood
4. I’m a sucker for good vibes
5. Keep your blood sweet like syrup
6. Vampires call me tasty
7. Blood banks love my savings account
8. I’m so full of life I might burst
9. Flow with it
10. I got blood-curdling laughter
11. Vein by day hero by night
12. Blood pressure high but spirit higher
13. The flow must go on
14. I’m the clot that counts
15. Born to transfuse
16. It’s a bloody good day
17. Stay vein stay sane
18. Blood mood activated
19. I’ve got iron in my humor
20. My bloodline runs on caffeine

Best Blood Jokes

1. Why did the vampire get a job? He wanted benefits
2. What’s a blood cell’s favorite song? Pump it
3. Why did the blood bank close early? It ran dry
4. Why are platelets so funny? They crack up easily
5. What do vampires eat for breakfast? Cereal with red milk
6. Why did the vein go to school? To improve circulation
7. Why was the blood shy? It didn’t want to clot attention
8. What do you call a rich vampire? Count Cashula
9. What’s a vampire’s pet? A bloodhound
10. Why don’t blood cells fight? They’re too red to rage
11. Why did the blood fail its test? It froze under pressure
12. What do you call tired blood? Lazy plasma
13. What do you call a musical vein? Rhythm and blood
14. What’s Dracula’s favorite sport? Batminton
15. Why did the plasma break up? Too many clots
16. How do you cheer up blood? Give it a transfusion of hope
17. Why did the vampire read newspapers? For current events
18. What’s blood’s favorite movie? Circulation Wars
19. Why did the blood blush? It saw a vein
20. Why was the vampire so calm? He had good circulation

Question & Answer Blood Jokes

1. Q: What did the vein say to the artery? A: Stop pushing me
2. Q: Why did the blood go on vacation? A: To relax its pressure
3. Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite candy? A: Lifesavers
4. Q: Why did the cell cross the road? A: To reach the other vein
5. Q: What did the blood say during breakup? A: I need space
6. Q: Why was the plasma happy? A: It felt fluid
7. Q: What do you call stylish blood? A: Type O-MG
8. Q: Why did Dracula start med school? A: He wanted more patients
9. Q: What’s blood’s hobby? A: Circulating rumors
10. Q: What’s red and tells jokes? A: Stand-up plasma
11. Q: Why did the blood blush? A: Too much pressure
12. Q: What’s a vein’s favorite drink? A: Bloody Mary
13. Q: Why did the blood run away? A: It saw the needle
14. Q: What does blood say when tired? A: I’m drained
15. Q: Why do vampires love math? A: They count on it
16. Q: What’s blood’s favorite TV show? A: True Blood
17. Q: Why was blood happy? A: It was flowing fine
18. Q: What did the blood cell do at work? A: Pump out results
19. Q: What’s blood’s favorite dance? A: The flow step
20. Q: Why did the blood laugh? A: It found a vein joke

Funny Blood Posts (Facebook & Reddit Style)

1. Just gave blood now I’m 10 percent lighter
2. My blood type is coffee
3. Donated blood and got juice best trade ever
4. My veins are running late today
5. Just got called sweet by a mosquito
6. Doctor said I have high flavor content
7. Vampires like all my posts
8. Blood test results say I’m 80 percent chaos
9. My blood cells unionized for better flow
10. Feeling drained but stylish
11. Blood donation is my cardio
12. I bleed memes
13. My blood pressure just texted LOL
14. Vampires swipe right on me
15. I’m so positive even my blood agrees
16. Doctor said I have viral humor
17. My blood has too much caffeine again
18. I’m the reason mosquitoes smile
19. Blood pressure low mood high
20. Feeling clotastic today

Funny Blood Instagram Captions

1. Just here to slay and circulate
2. My blood is red carpet ready
3. Stay vein stay vibing
4. Blood is thicker than excuses
5. I flow with confidence
6. I’m pumped
7. Born to donate raised to slay
8. Blood donor by day legend by night
9. Keep calm it’s only blood
10. I’m liquid fabulous
11. Sweet blood energy
12. Life runs through me literally
13. Red is my natural filter
14. No bad flow only bold flow
15. Feeling a little clotty today
16. My blood type is awesome
17. I’m full of type A-ttitude
18. Love at first bite
19. This drip is natural
20. I bleed good vibes

Blood Talk: Dark Humor That Circulates

1. Blood lost but never forgotten
2. I told the vampire I’m priceless he agreed
3. Life sucks but so do vampires
4. I gave blood once they never stopped calling
5. Blood pressure is my roller coaster
6. My ex was like bad blood toxic
7. I keep my emotions in circulation
8. Vampires love my personality type
9. My blood said bye mid-test
10. Doctor said I’m full of dark humor
11. I’m positive it’s negative
12. My blood clots faster than my plans
13. Donate blood not drama
14. Vampires see me as fine dining
15. Blood banks should offer snacks for life
16. My bloodline is pure chaos
17. I’m bleeding sarcasm
18. Dark humor keeps my veins open
19. I’m a walking transfusion of trouble
20. Blood is life mine just has attitude

 Spill the Blood: Puns That Slay

1. These puns cut deep
2. Blood on the dance floor again
3. I slay with my veins out
4. I’m the clot plot twist
5. My humor is bloody sharp
6. Slay all day bleed all way
7. Red alert I’m funny
8. Blood thicker than logic
9. I’m the vein villain
10. Flow goals achieved
11. I make mosquitoes proud
12. My bloodline wrote this joke
13. Keep flowing keep slaying
14. Vampires call me influencer
15. Blood spill but make it fashion
16. My type is rare like my jokes
17. Stay clot stay hot
18. Bleeding with confidence
19. Flow strong pun stronger
20. I’m the reason transfusions laugh

Type O Funny: Blood Puns with a Twist

1. Type O but type wow
2. I’m O for outstanding
3. My O stands for overdramatic
4. Type O plus humor equals perfection
5. Zero negatives only positives
6. My blood type is LOL
7. O so funny O so tired
8. O-mazing energy only
9. Just an O trying to flow
10. Oops all plasma
11. O power full throttle
12. Keep it O-pen minded
13. I’m O-ver it but still glowing
14. Type O original pun master
15. O as in oh no
16. Feeling O-verwhelmed by humor
17. O my gosh that’s funny
18. Type O just go with the flow
19. I’m O-bsessed with my veins
20. My O-pinion is positive

 Stay Positive — Literally: Blood Puns That Flow

1. Stay positive like my test
2. Be positive it’s not that bad
3. I’m positive I’m awesome
4. Keep your flow fine
5. I’m a walking inspiration transfusion
6. Positive vibes positive blood
7. Be a donor not a downer
8. My positivity is in my plasma
9. I glow with good hemoglobin
10. Life pumps on
11. Smile it boosts circulation
12. Keep your blood pressure chill
13. Positivity flows stronger than caffeine
14. I’m full of joy and platelets
15. Stay cool stay pumping
16. Blood in motion emotion in blood
17. I’m a plus in every way
18. Be bright be bloodlight
19. Keep glowing from inside
20. Flow positive or go home

Share these blood puns with friends for a flow of laughter and some red hot fun. Life is short so make it funny and full of good vibes. Keep smiling and let humor pump through every moment it makes the heart lighter and the day brighter so spread the fun like good circulation today.